Lolipop Shotgun
by Hope The Victor
Summary: A non-canon secquel to Sai's the Bat and Blonde. What if Yang was sent to San Romero instead of Going back home? A lot of carnage, thats what! Fetures my own OC and some references to Lolipop Deadpool.


Arkham Asylum

A few minutes after defeating Titan Joker, a red and black swirling portal opened up, which Yang recognized as her mother's portal and her ticket back home.

"Well Bats, it's been real fun, but i really gotta get back home. Hope this clown doesn't give you any more problems like this." Yang said.

"It was nice working with you, Yang. I wish you the best of luck. You can keep the utility belt, too. Consider it a souvenir." Batman said, somewhat happy Yang would be able to find her way home, but also somewhat sad she wouldn't be able to stick around for a while as the new Batgirl.

"I doubt I'll use it, but i think my little sister would love it. Well, later!" Yang said jumping in. "Remnant, here I…!" She started.

"Not yet, Yang. There is still one more thing for you to do." Raven said as the portal suddenly changed course from Remnant to somewhere entirely different.

"Oh, come OOOOOOON!" Yang screamed as she careened through time and space.

In a town known as San Romero, a bus carrying a young teenager with a black t shirt and the San Romero Knights logo and sword on it, an open purple and red jacket, sneakers, jeans, and a backpack filled with sports and school stuff. He had black hair, green eyes with a good looking face that was Spider-Man esque, and was riding to San Romero High to enter his freshman year.

"So kid, you're fresh from your hometown?" the driver asked.

"Yeah, I was hoping i'd get some great experiences here. This place is crazy cool. Well, aside from i guess a bit of weird people…" he said.

"What's your name, son?" the driver asked.

"Jake." He said.

"Well jake you're gonna love it at San Romero High and, what the hell?!" the driver asked as the vortex opened up and Yang flew out screaming and crashing into the bus through the front window.

"Damn!" Jake said surprised. "Uh, you okay there?" he asked Yang.

"Yeah. I'm good. I'm good." Yang said getting up.

"You're good? You fell through the windshield of a school bus and you're good?" Jake asked.

"Really, i'm good. Thanks, new guy." Yang said.

"Its Jake. Er, and you are?" Jake asked.

"Yang. Yang Xiao Long." She introduced.

"Huh? Is that chinese? You don't look foreign." Jake said.

"UGH! Everyone says that! I don't even know where or what this China place is!" Yang ranted, her hair sparking for a moment and her eyes turning red.

"Whoa, whoa! I didn't mean it!" Jake said. "So uh… you fell outta the sky. Should I be worried or…?"

Suddenly they heard the driver Scream as something pulled him out from the side window as the bus started to go faster with no driver. People with undead features started grabbing onto the buss.

"Huh?" Yang asked.

(Cue- Never Surrender- DMC: Devil May Cry)

"ZOMBIES?!" Jake asked.

"Wait, as in real, legit zombies?" Yang asked,.

"Uh, yeah." Jake said as one of them crashed their face in through one of the windows.

"Let me fuck your father!" It roared as it clawed at Jake.

"Get offa me!" Jake said pushing it back and smashing its head in.

Another one smashed through another window behind Yang, gunning for the huntress. "This is ass!" It roared, clawing at her and even managing to grab and yank back on her shorts. A zombie had just given her a wedgie..

"OW! I so did NOT wanna get a zombie wedgie with my skirt on!" Yang said pushing it back, but it recovered.

"Blast its head off, only way to kill the thing!" Jake said.

"Hands off the merchandise!" She snapped, firing a round from her gauntlet into its face, managing to blast it away, but comically, its hand still remained on her shorts.

"Oh, uh… i got it." Jake said.

"Uh, Jake?" Yang said.

"What?"

"CLIFF!"

The bus, still rolling at top speed, smashed over the cliff and fell down onto the main entrance of the school. All the while in stalled out gravity, Jake grabbed his stuff and he and Yang smashed out the back door as the bus crashed into a wall and exploded, the two landing safely.

"Nailed it." Yang smirked.

They then took a second to see that hordes of Zombies were right near the main gate.

"Oh my god, there's like a million of these things!" Jake said.

"Uh... duh, zombies." Yang said.

"I know, is it like the apocalypse or something?" Jake asked before a girl in a cheerleading outfit on a bicycle was pedaling towards them and the group of Zombies.

"Hey Jake, someone's coming." Yang said.

"Yeah i can see that and… wait, is that a… cheerleader?!" Jake asked.

"What the!?" Yang said in shock. "Why as she pedaling TOWARDS all this carnage?!"

She was just arriving at school to find it was overrun with zombies. "Oh, my god! What the heck happened?! Oh, god! Gross! Yuck! Back off! It smells!" She said, completely oblivious to the fact she was about to run into a bus, then screamed when she was about to hit it. Luckily, she managed to jump off and avoid the crash, landing on the other side of the bus. She looked at the wave of zombies with instant annoyance.

"Hey, you! It's dangerous, get outta…!" Jake said before seeing the girl reach into her large duffel.

"Seriously?! Dude, what the hell?!" She said, reaching in her duffelbag, pulling out a chainsaw. "Oomph!" she said revving it up.

"Holy crap! She's got a CHAINSAW?!" Jake asked in shock.

"What kind of crazy girl is this!? This isn't a combat school like Beacon, is it?!" Yang asked.

"I don't think so…" Jake said as the girl charged at the horde.

"And on my birthday, too! Like I'm not already late enough!" She said, cutting through a bunch of zombies, doing a split and cut some poor zombie bastard in half from crotch to head. " Gross! Stupid, undead DOUCHEBAGS!" She cussed as the zombie split apart.

The zombies then swarmed on her, but she forced them back and swung her chainsaw around.

"OMFG!" she said spinning in circles and cutting the head off one zombie, kicking it, bouncing it off 3 trash cans into a baby carriage.

She pulled out a lollipop as a bio poster for her appeared.

 **Juliet Starling**

 **Age: 18**

 **Totally in love with: Nick Carlyle**

 **Favorite weapon: Bedazzled chainsaw**

 **Favorite food: Strawberry lollipops**

 **GPA: 3.4**

 **Hobbies: Cheerleading, karaoke, bisecting the undead**

 **Secret kink: Likes to be told she's not fat**

"Uh… did you see that bio poster just now, or are we both crazy?" Jake asked.

"I think we're both crazy. I saw it, too." She said.

"Least we know what her name is…" Jake said going up to her. "Hey! Juliet, right?"

"Oh, hey! You're the transfer, right?" Juliet asked.

"Yeah i am and… wait, how did you know?" Jake asked.

"The principal asked me to show you around today." She said, then looked to see Yang. "Oh, I didn't know there were two of you, though? Is she your big sister or something?" She asked.

"Ah.. no, she is not. Met her on a speeding bus full of Zombies. This is Yang Xiao Long." He introduced her.

"What's up?" Yang asked with a small wave.

"And before you ask, no. She is in no way or anyway Chinese." Jake added in..

"Okay. That's a cool name." Juliet said brightly, before tilting her head to the side when she noticed something. "Oh! You've got something there!" She said, taking a few steps behind Yang and finally pulling the zombie hand still attached to her shorts.

"Oh, good. I was getting annoyed at that." Yang said.

"Uh, girls? Zombies in the school, wanna do something about it?" Jake asked pulling out a steel baseball bat. "Not that I mind a little Zombie bashing on my first day."

"Oh, right, the zombies. One sec." Juliet said using her chainsaw to shred the gate lock and then kick it down. Then another bus then exploded on the other side of the gate, stunning the Zombies and blowing the three back a bit.

"Jeez, it sucks when things explode!" Juliet said recovering.

"Good thing I'm fire-proof." Yang said as she got up as well.

Jake got up and smacked his baseball bat. "Let's go kill some zombies." he smirked and charged into the stunned once and cracked their faces and limbs.

"Whoa, he's awesome at this for first time zombie killing!" Juliet said.

"And you know because how?" Yang asked.

"Oh, um… I'll tell you later. We have to go find my boyfriend, Nick!" She said urgently, hurrying off towards the parking lot.

"Huh? Hey, wait for us!" Jake said as he and Yang followed, smacking and punching through Zombies along the way. As soon as he got to the parking lot, Jake saw another student getting muggled my Zombies.

"Wuh-oh, kid in danger. One sec, ladies." Jake said clearing em out as the student wasn't too damaged.

"Awesome! I'm still alive!" he said as a rescue chopper picked him up, tossing them a bunch of shiny gold coins just before they took off.

"Pretty! Zombie medals!" Juliet said happily.

"THanks kid! Good work, see if you can get anyone else out." the pilot over the loudspeaker said, before a bus headed to the three somes way. "Look out! Incoming!"

"Whoa!" Jake said diving out of the way as it crashed, Juliet back flipping to avoid it, and as for Yang, she skidded back a bit.

"Whoa! That was crazy! Well, crazy-ER." Yang said.

"Man, zombies suck dick at driving!" Juliet said as they entered the bus and jumped out the back. They continued down the path for a few minutes before another bus smashed into a wall, blocking their path.

"Man, that guy's license should be revoked." Jake said.

"Aw, I was gonna say that!" Juliet pouted.

"Heads up, crawlers!" Jason said as a few legless zombies came out from the storage rooms.

"I'll rip out your taint!" one of them said.

"Ew, gross! What he just said and that they're legless crawlers!" Yang cringed.

"Man, zombies have no decency, don't they?" Jake said.

"Oh, great. This is gonna be harder than I thought." Juliet said, looking at her new friends, before glaring at the zombies. "Hey, pervs! Don't be looking up my skirt!" She snapped, before rushing in, jumping and flipping forward, before bringing her chainsaw down on the center of one's body, cutting it completely in half.

"Hey, pervert number 2! Spy this!" Jake said smashing his baseball bat on the others head.

"Gross jerks!" Yang said, firing at them with her gauntlets and turning them into piles of carnage.

They continued onward and saw another student trapped on top of a van.

"We're coming, hang on!" Jake said plowing through them. Juliet and Yang joined in, and the girl was rescued in no time.

"Haha! Who am I?" she asked as the chopper came back to rescue her as well.

"Great, i see one more! I got him!" the pilot said flying over to a third. "ALL RIIIGHT!"

"He's having fun." Yang said with a small giggle.

After finding some more Zombies and killing them off and rescuing a third student, they finally came to a courtyard where Zombies were lying everywhere.

"Jeez. Something real bad happened here. So where's this Nick guy?" Jake asked.

"I dunno… Nick! Are you there? It's okay to come out!" Juliet said as a Zombie was headed right for them.

"Juliet!" a teen boy in a uniform said shoulder tackling the zombie as they both grappled with each other.

"Hands off her boyfriend, creep!" Jake said pulling the Zombie off Nick and bashing his head in.

"Whew, thanks freshie. I think he was about to bite me." Nick said.

"Yeah, nice save."Juliet said.

Yang was about to say something when she noticed a pile of stuff. There were two Katanas skewered in the ground with Pistols hanging by a thread, Sais poked next to them, along with two giant Hammers laying flat on the ground in front of the swords. Two shot guns were in a cross shape on the ground next to a pair of fully automatic SMGs, and another pair of Pulse Rifles

"WHoa, jackpot!" Yang said. "But uh… who left all this here?" she asked and notes the familiar mask sign on all the melee weapons.

"I dunno, but something about all this gear seems… familiar." Juliet said.

"Hey, there's a note!" Nick said as a note was in the middle of the stuck katanas. It read: "A little present from your friendly neighborhood phychotic mercenary. Try not to die out there, kids! This ain't Dragon Ball Z, no 'get out of death free' cards." and it was signed. "Deadpool" with his calling card.

"Deadpool? Hey Juliet, doesn't that name ring a bell?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, but I can't put my finger on it, really. It feels like I met him before, but can't remember." Juliet said in thought.

"Well, if he left all this for us… then i'll take it! Free Weapons!" Jake said grabbing the Katanas, Shotguns, SMGS and Pulse rifles.

"Hey, you took all the good stuff!" Nick said before noting the Sais and Pistols. "But for some odd reason, i'm okay with taking those Sais and handguns." he said taking em.

Jake wanted to grab the hammers. He tried to lift one, but couldn't. "Argh! Damn it, how does Deadpool even swing these in his game?"

"Sorry, Jake. You need some muscle to swing these bad boys!" Yang said, picking them up with ease.

"Game? Game…" Juliet said before it all came back to her. "Ah! Now it's all coming back to me! There's a game about him that has all these weapons and stuff in them. It was an awesome game, but I didn't know he was real!" She said.

"Well, he's gotta be generous to give us this stuff." Yang said.

"Yeah, this stuffs way better than my sports stuff. Come on, into the school!" Jake said as they all went in.


End file.
